What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 19:58
We all went to grammer schools
He resisted the act ,that day.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
How do I convince my husband that a threesome is okay?
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
She married twice! .
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Does being poor build better character than being born rich?
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
And i lived it daily.
What are your views on music video reactors on YouTube?
I was 9 years of age.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Do you find Anushka Sen attractive?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
How do I cope with the fact that I will never have a girlfriend?
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Why is my Whirlpool fridge not cooling but the freezer works? What is the solution?
So, i spoilt her more .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
When does a woman know she is cumming?
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
What caused the decline of the Soprano crew?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Why after 50 years of being straight do I constantly desire to suck cock?
This is how, and why children get BPD.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
When she asked me how she looked .
I waited trembling.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I was scared of men, in general
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
It was going to be , some day.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Why did i forgive my father ?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
This is soul school!.
But, we were locked up after school.
Ive learnt so much.
I don,t even have a pension.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I never cut or harmed myself..
I think the readers, may guess!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
My family never makes their pension either.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
One cannot live in the past .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Comes on , in middle age.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
So whats the point in blame.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I write beautiful poetry .
I said to her
She found it foreign!.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But it wasn’t much.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She wouldn,t have been !
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
All the time i was locked up.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I was very sick at this time too.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Would this be the day?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
My life is so biszare .
The only rule us 5 kids had .
She loved him until the end.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Who then, do I blame.?
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Was to survive, this bastard.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
What did i know ?
I could never make a relationship work though!
She was in good health!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
We were not on the streets..
I was seconnd youngest,
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I have no regrets .
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I will be 64.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He knew the spot.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Put me off passion for life!!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Im still living with it.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!